AMANDA, US ARMY, CORPORAL, 2LT (Military Intelligence)
Amanda's journey through life had been far from easy. She had faced hardships and challenges that she wouldn’t wish upon any. Yet, she stood strong and resilient in the face of adversity. Her strength may not have looked like strength to others, but it took an immense amount of courage to face her past and begin to live in the present moment.
Amanda’s decision to join the military had been a desperate escape from an abusive relationship and the despair of failing out of college. She knew she needed to find a way out, a way to rebuild her life, and the Army had offered her that opportunity.
After enduring basic combat training and advanced training for Military Police, Amanda found herself on a helicopter bound for Afghanistan. Her heart raced as she touched down in the war-torn country. The anxiety and fear of the unknown gnawed at her, fueled by the Hollywood images of combat she had seen. She clutched her weapon tightly, ready to face the supposed enemy combatants.
However, to her surprise, the first days brought no immediate threat. Amanda soon realized that the real challenge for her wasn't the battlefield but the toxic culture towards women within her unit. She had heard the derogatory comments made by her direct leader, who seemed to revel in demeaning women. Amanda had been subjected to horrifying remarks about women being tortured, and it sickened her to her core.
As the days turned into weeks, she went on missions to support medical missions for local women. Her leader was sent with her, and it became harder to escape the remarks. It wasn't just about facing the enemy outside; it was also about confronting the enemy within. Amanda couldn't help but wonder how many other female enlisted soldiers endured similar treatment. The only reprieve she got was when she was assigned to a new team leader.
During her deployment, tragedy struck when a new friend, a young Navy Corpsman, was killed in action. He had been a beacon of light amid the darkness of war, and his loss hit Amanda like a tidal wave. She had known him for only a short time, but the impact he had on her life was immeasurable. She still has a photo of him, a memento she intended to give to his grieving parents when the time was right. She wanted to personally convey the depth of his influence and offer a comforting hug to his mother. She also lost 2 others at the end of her deployment. The guilt of her coming home to a cancer diagnosis led to her coping in unhealthy ways.
In 2019, Amanda faced another heart-wrenching blow when her direct supervisor (also known as her team leader) died by suicide. His sister reached out to Amanda with the devastating news, but in her heart, she had already known. Months before his tragic death, she had a haunting dream that seemed to foretell the unimaginable loss. She attended his funeral and stood before his grieving family and friends to speak about the vibrant life he had lived. Amanda didn't just share words; she also gave his nephew a unique memento from her Army days. She knew how close he had been to his uncle, and she hoped that this gift would serve as a symbol of their bond.
Amid her grief, Amanda grappled with complex emotions. She was angry her team leader was gone. But she also understood the immense pain he had been in. Amanda had learned that resilience wasn't just about enduring external challenges but also about navigating the storm within one's own heart. That’s why she created a nonprofit called First Page to support veterans and kids by enhancing existing programming and empowering anyone she meets to find their strengths and use them to overcome any challenge.
Amanda's story was one of immense strength and resilience—a testament to her ability to face adversity head-on, both on the battlefield and in the battles of the heart. She carried the memories of her fallen friends with her, honoring their lives by continuing to push forward and make a positive impact on the world, one step at a time.